3 weeks out (21 days left)

It is a couple weeks out from the show and I feel like i'm hitting a wall. Knowing myself, I'll keep pushing through it. I have not complained much about anything, due to the fact that I know I'm doing this to myself, and admittedly, I like it (most of the time). From what I've heard this is the point in prepping where everyone is feeling this way; so at least I know, mentally I am not alone. The show is so close, but yet so far, the diet and workouts seem to drag on and on, but I will get through this. Like I had mentioned in a previous blog, the wise words from my husband, "If it was easy, everyone would do it", rings in my ears when I begin to feel down.

When I get tired, feel my legs going numb, or want to puke... another mantra I have taken on is "it is not your body giving up, it's your mind", then I tell myself to quit thinking, quit being a pansy, and get yo'ass movin'. It is amazing what you can make your body do if you just keep pushing. I find if I just let my mind go blank, and focus solely on the movements of my muscles, the workouts go much faster on the days I'm feeling low on energy.

Today a co-worker told me that all sales people are weird... at first I thought he was just referring to "the other" sales reps. Then I realized he was including me in that statement... I proceeded to ask him what was so weird about me, and his response was "you work out like crazy, you carry your food in a bag everywhere you go, and other people feel guilty when they even drive by a McDonalds because you wouldn't eat it. I mean, god, you're training for a fitness competition for god's sake"... I just kinda laughed because if that is what's weird about me then... THANK GOD!!! lol

I am now doing every other meal a protein shake, nixing the carbs (breakfast oatmeal and lunch time brown rice) for three days back, on on the 4th then back to none, and upping my cardio to 6 days a week an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening after weights.

I will not be posting anymore progress shots of myself, i think it might be fun to save my final shots for the show. I will take pics in between so when I post pics from the show I can show progression up until the competition.

I do not know how to explain how bad I want this. How bad I want to win. A part of me wants to say "just be happy if you place" or "just be happy if you fit in on stage"... but the other part of me says "you could so win this". I want first place like I want air. I want to make this my lifestyle... I mean hell, I'm pumping myself up just thinking about how bad I want it.

Things I need to work on:
Posing more naturally
transitioning between walking and posing
push harder these next couple days on leg workouts
be more strict on eating schedule ( I eat every two hours. 8, 10, 12, 2, 4,6, 8 but some days it gets off if a meeting runs over, or work stuff comes up)
Drink MORE water
DO NOT GET STRESSED!!!

enough chatter... MORE INSPIRATIONAL PHOTOS: